loose change

oh man i’ve missed writing here! 9 weeks later i finally feel settled enough to write a brief monday piece! i’m overwhelmed by the need to encapsulate both the second half of the summer and the entirety of our road trip. i’ve let alllllllll of my stories and thoughts and memories snowball into nine weeks of missed monday pieces–there’s a small part of me that regrets falling out of the habit, but i’m trying (always) to give myself grace. better to write now than never again!

i’ve been in santa barbara for a week. i did try and start a monday piece last week but by wednesday, i decided to let one more pieceless week eke by before picking up the practice again.

we were watching my dad’s dog last week, rex. he’s an emphatically hedonistic and handsome golden retriever/australian shepherd mix. when john is out of town, rex is singularly focused on one thing: his tennis ball. he demands a rigid schedule of no less than 45 minutes at skofield park every day, ideally twice a day. given that i hadn’t started work yet, and that i’d spent the better part of the last three weeks in a car seat, i was more than happy to oblige him!

i took my watch off and left my phone at home. these park hours were a practice in patience. i’m in one of those transitory phases of life where everything is all happening all of the time, i think mostly spurred by this imminent move to salt lake, and if i don’t let my brain clock out for a little i’ll surely go insane.

it’s fascinating to sit and watch rex chase the ball. he’s extraordinarily athletic. the park was empty–just us and the oak trees and the birds. rex brings the ball back until he’s tired, at which point he finds a shady spot on the field to lie down, facing me, making direct eye contact, panting so much that even from thirty yards away i see his chest bouncing. it went like this: i’d throw the ball for him for maybe five minutes at a time, very entertained by his accuracy and his leaps and his speed and his drive. and then he would lie down and we would stare at each other. and then he would get up and come lie down in a spot that was maybe five or ten yards closer to me, still making eye contact, and he would repeat this until there was a drool-covered ball sitting at my feet.

during rex’s idle moments, i’d let my train of thought go crazy. i wrote last week’s entire monday piece in my head. i watched a line of ants on their daily march. i breathed deeply. i stared back at rex. i thought about the future. i tried to untangle all the different thoughts in my brain. i stepped out of frame and observed those thoughts from a different perspective. i slowed down! it was heavenly.

on this first day, once rex was sufficiently tired, i put his leash back on and started the walk back to john and robin’s house. rex had other ideas. he’s very strong, so i didn’t have much of a choice–before i knew it we were on the path toward the creek, and he was staring up at me pleading to be let off leash. he sprinted down a cordoned off trail and laid in the cool water, while i snuck down to a rock to watch him.

all of this is to say that last week i had the opportunity to slow down a little bit, thanks to rex, and that i’m very appreciative of the chance to do so.

i’m back working at the restaurant now. i wasn’t sure if i’d be able to pick up any shifts, but when i texted riley she put me on the schedule almost immediately, and it’s been exactly what the doctor ordered. i cannot believe how much i love working there. i have to remind myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and imminent change evokes nostalgia, and the combination of those two things is making my return to little dom’s feel heavenly. i feel extremely lucky to work with such good people.

it’s almost 1030p and i’m running out of steam for now, but thank GOD we’re back to monday writing! thank you for reading! thank you for practicing patience! until next week xxooo